Joy-Based Living is what it is today because of our members who have made the commitment and have taken the risk to pioneer this new way of being in the world. Each of our members is producing a powerful ripple that is impacting countless lives in a myriad of positive ways. Today, I wrote a letter of gratitude, honor, and recognition to them, thanking them for who we are BEING at JBL. After sending the letter, I felt inspired to share it with you publicly because it can offer you a rare peek into what we’re really up to at JBL. (I ramble a little at the end, but I’m not going to edit it so you can see the real thing.)
Authentic Connections*: Celebrating us and our gorgeous unifying thread
As many of you know, I’ve been up-leveling the JBL conversation at the blog and website. I’m now fully engaging the topic of leadership, and this is allowing me to transcend (yet still maintain) the topic of narcissistic abuse.
This means that I can now enjoy the lushness and beauty of the garden. Walking through it with you. Sharing it with others. Feeling the delight and joy of it. The compost pile (recycling narcissistic abuse) is an integral part of the garden. But it’s now off to the side, no longer front-and-center (THANK GOD!).
deJoly and I were discussing this the other day and I realized that those of us who have been engaging our wholehearted conversation here at JBL Authentic Connections have some very meaningful things in common.
Yes… many of us have struggled with healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse, and many of us are extremely empathic and highly sensitive people. But… I think there is a more important thread that unites us, inspires us and empowers us.
We all want to be better leaders. We all care about making a difference and contributing more of our leadership qualities to those we care about.
Some of our leadership qualities include:
- intentional listening,
- giving and receiving support,
- co-authoring and co-creating new possibilities for each other’s lives
- being more embodied / more fully present,
- communicating your needs, feelings, and desires more clearly.
- We’ve also become better (and more empathic) negotiators.
- We’ve raised our standards. We’ve become more opinionated.
- We’ve set higher expectations for others to join us in elevating our states of consciousness together.
- In order to do this, we have all taken risks. Hard risks. Risks that have confronted us with possibilities of failure, rejection, abandonment, and loneliness (sometimes due to others not coming along for the JBL journey). Taking these risks has proved worthy, not just for the people we are leading and influencing but for ourselves as well. We are all physically healthier and mentally happier. We are more connected with the truth of our being and less willing to settle.
- The more we experience, witness and speak about and write about our positive results (in ourselves and in each other), the more evidence we offer to the survival part of our brains that WE ARE SAFE. Our stockpile of evidence shows us that these leadership qualities are IMPORTANT. Not to be feared, but to be welcomed, appreciated and honored. That Joy-Based Living isn’t just some “nice idea” but that our well-being is at stake. What was once “unfamiliar” to us (kindness mixed with strength; truth mixed with joy; authentic power mixed with validation) is now becoming “familiar” to us.
In the blog post Destroying Falsehoods – Evoking Brilliance – at the Heart of Personal Transformation, I wrote, “The most powerful experience in human transformation is when falsehood is faced and loved into truth.” This is our practice.
On the front page of the website, I added this:
Joy-Based Living is my prototype. The 12 Practices are our daily workout. Our community is a backdrop of encouragement and strength for each of us. It’s a dream come true. And it is totally awesome.
One of the funny moments with deJoly was when we agreed that “being normal” sucks because it usually means people being mean to one other.
I am so proud of us. I enjoy co-leading with you. And NOT being normal with you.
Thanks for all of your inspiration, everyone.
I love you,
Authentic Connections is the heartbeat conversation at Joy-Based Living. It’s the “island” on the JBL Treasure Map where we share our daily experiences, our challenges, and our milestones, within an atmosphere that mixes kindness with strength, truth with joy, and authentic power with validation. I hope you’ll join us today!
Who’s the Treasure? That’s right! YOU ARE! (click the map to enlarge it)