!!! Today I’m celebrating 2 years since launching SANCTUARY: 4 Mantras for Thriving After Emotional Trauma !!!
October 10, 2021 is World Mental Health day. When I heard Queen Oprah and Prince Harry himself promoting this day a couple of years ago, they inspired me to launch the SANCTUARY book on October 10, 2019.
I am so thankful to have this SANCTUARY treasure in our world. In the last couple of years, it’s helped so many people I care about find healthy solutions and perspectives to healing trauma. It’s a “gateway” book that can open doors, and save tons of time and money in the healing process.
To make the path a little easier and more predictable for you, here are the 4 stages of healing trauma as I see them.
“Praying and cussing are NOT mutually exclusive.” – Dr. Brené Brown
The healing process goes something like this:
- HELL NO
- FUCK YES!!!
STAGE !: STUCK
Usually, when people are stuck in trauma, they don’t even know it’s trauma. They’re usually complaining about a litany of other things, people, circumstances, etc.
STAGE @: SHOCKED
When they actually take the time to listen to their feelings, to their bodies… when they look at what the heck is REALLY going on in their lives… what shows up is often shocking to the person, even if the situation has happened a thousand times before. The psychological protection mechanism DENIAL causes them to fall back into stage one: STUCK. This back-and-forth dance can go on for a lifetime. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way.
STAGE #: HELL NO
“I’m not putting up with that person, place or thing any more!!! That’s it! I’m putting my foot down!!!” At this stage, we often hear passionate words about boundaries and walls and how they said NO to someone else or to a way-of-life that they no longer want. This feels SO MUCH STRONGER than the first 2 stages that some people get stuck here!!! How unfortunate, because life is abounding with BEAUTY but they’re so busy fighting the fight that they miss the butterflies, the roses and the tender gorgeous beauty loyally waiting to be acknowledged, in their own hearts.
STAGE $: FUCK YES!
This is “the money”. It’s the Jackpot!
At this stage, you know your value and you know what you value.
Your core values guide your behaviors and choices and you move forward with discernment because now YOU are in charge of your life. You’re not living at the whim of other people’s agenda’s. You know who you are and what you want.
At this stage, you are aligned with your JOY. You know what and who you LOVE and you are going forward full-steam ahead. It might look like a whirlwind of energy, but it doesn’t have to. It can be a peaceful day at the park, a phone call with a friend, an inspired action toward a dream you have. It’s the AUTHENTIC YOU, fully alive. Connected with others who love you back. Who love you for who you are.
I’m so grateful for this past couple of years. Even though we’re living through a time that has felt crazy and chaotic to so many, it has also called people home to themselves, making them more available for healing, for soul searching, for telling themselves the truth about what they feel, what they know and what they really want out of their lives.
“Pain that’s not transformed, gets transmitted.”Fr Richard Rohr
This quote relates directly to trauma. This last couple of years, for many people, has been really traumatizing. Trauma can be scary to face, but there is great light at the end of the tunnel.
Trauma can be a catalyst that wakes us up to the treasure of being ALIVE. Fully alive. Self-care and self-love and being FULLY ALIVE are only possible when you have the time and space to listen to your heart. That is what SANCTUARY is for.
The fine writing at the bottom:
If you haven’t taken the time to pause, to listen within… when you finally do… it might appear as gross as the faucet water in a cabin which hasn’t been turned on in a while. If you are able to withstand it (you are so worth it)… keep the faucet on. Keep listening. Don’t abandon YOU. Don’t EVER abandon YOU. If you need help from a professional listener or healer, find it. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!!
SANCTUARY is available for download for FREE at https://joybasedliving.com/sanctuary-free-e-book/.
aka Reverend SASSY SHORTS!
SANCTUARY E-book – Joy Based Living
I kept attracting relationships and people into my life (personally and professionally) who would take way more than they would give and where I would give way more than I would take. SANCTUARY immediately showed me the main holes in my healing journey. I can now see exactly what steps to take next….