(Please scroll down to see the collection of articles)
I’ve discovered something important after 2 years of leading people through the Joy-Based Living practices.
Although our JBL community is for anyone who is sincerely seeking more joy in their lives, there is one type of person who uniquely benefits from the coaching and support system that our community provides: someone who is healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse.
Now that I think about it, this makes perfect sense.
At the heart of narcissistic abuse is invalidation of the self and of a person’s reality.
So, when a person’s self-hood is seen, honored, accepted, appreciated and even celebrated (as we practice in our JBL community), and when that person’s reality and experience is VALIDATED… that person finally has an opportunity to thrive. Their joy has the potential to come fully alive.
Many people who are healing from narcissistic abuse feel alone, isolated, depressed, and even a little crazy. It’s precisely how they were manipulated to feel.
But, to be clear, they weren’t manipulated because they are weak. Quite the contrary: they were targeted by the narcissist because they are strong. What the narcissist is looking for is someone who will take care of them, at the expense of their own needs. They are looking for someone who is empathic, compassionate, giving and caring. To a fault.
The person who is abused is called a co-narcissist. Imagine in your mind being someone’s co-pilot. You’re not so afraid of being alone. But you are afraid of going “against” the narcissist’s perceptions and wishes. And you have every reason to feel afraid. Your personhood has been threatened (as well as other important areas of your life… physical, emotional, financial, children, etc.).
A narcissistic relationship is like a toxic dance that feels hypnotic. If it’s not healed, the chances of attracting other narcissists to your life are extremely high.
If this describes you, and you are interested in healing and thriving, we have 2 paths that you can take depending on your readiness level and what you can afford at this time.
- Step by step. Here you’ll begin with self-study. Buy the 12 Practices E-book (read it; watch the videos, which are included; do the journal). Then share your Practices with others in our community. Then take the Wholehearted Mastermind course. Then join our Authentic Connections conversation. Each of these steps is meaningful and important. It will be up to you to stay motivated to take each step.
- Immersion: 6-month one-on-one coaching intensive. You’ll receive 12 coaching sessions plus you’ll be personally guided through the 12 Practices e-book, the community conversation, the Wholehearted Mastermind course and the Authentic Connections conversation. To get started, you’ll want to purchase one session. During that time, we will assess your current situation and your current needs. We will create a plan of action for you with a few short term action steps. We will also use this time to see if we would be a good fit for each other to work together for 6 months.
At Joy-Based Living, we learn to regulate our emotions with extreme self-care and embodiment of honor, commitment and loyalty toward ourselves and others. We also practice celebrating our imperfections as we step forward. We value our most authentic desires, and this includes taking the risks to make our dreams come true in the world. We learn to give and receive support as we increase our well-being and joy.
Here is our collection of articles about healing from, and thriving after, narcissistic abuse (newest first):
- Flying Free – Let’s talk about Spirituality – Especially after Narcissistic Abuse
- You Deserve To Feel Amazing!
- Reclaim Your Power – Break the Stockholm Syndrome Bond for Good (Terminate trauma bonding and put an end to misplaced loyalty)
- 3 Strategies to Banish False Shame – Letter to Russell Brand speaking on Shame (healing narcissistic abuse)
- Is love always the answer? (dealing with narcissism, response to Russell Brand)
- The one lie co-narcissists are coerced to believe and how to stop being held hostage by it (Coach Notes)
- A letter of honor, leadership, and recognition to the pioneers at JBL
- On labels, spirituality, narcissistic abuse and power (Mr. Rogers, Marianne Williamson)
- Is narcissistic abuse a modern, silent holocaust?
- 4 resources for empowering your sanity and selfhood during and after a narcissistic relationship and 1 resource for treating spirit possession
- Why I find narcissists so very compelling and why co-narcissists are the real heroes of the story (Batman)
- Thriving after narcissistic abuse, 3 stages of healing to help you write your own ending
- Why I love co-narcissists and why you should too
- Definition of co-narcissist (Cinderella)
- Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Collection of Articles
- Indifference Sucks – Involvement is Your Strength – Embody Well-being Today
- Definition of narcissistic abuse and healing and thriving
- Goals vs Trajectory – Coaching yourself after narcissistic abuse
- Let your joy rise like bread in an oven – healing after narcissistic abuse
- Joy-Based Living offers unique support for healing from narcissistic abuse
- For the Love of Truth – Liberation from Narcissistic Abuse
- Trust the sunshine in your body to eliminate the black clouds in your brain – taking risks for joy after narcissistic abuse
- Have you been Narcissized? Seven affirmations for breaking the trauma bond.
- Validation, Depths of Healing, Freedom Within, 2019
- Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences
- Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse
- No one likes being forced to share. #communism #narcissism
- What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.
- Where do all the feelings go? (Part I)
- Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
- In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse
- A rant about healing from narcissistic abuse and 3 videos – No more settling for crumbs
- Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse
- Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist
- 2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)
- Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.
- Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)
- Horses and grasshoppers and thistles, O MY!
- Don’t Hide Your Life (Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Part III)
- How to handle the objections that live in your head
- A rant. A fairy tale about a horse and purple thistles. And a healing message: Stop compulsively dimming yourself down. (Healing from narcissistic abuse, Part II)
- Celebrate Your Unique Perspective
- Honor the still, small voice
- At the heart of narcissistic abuse: 2 core abusive behaviors, why they do it, and 3 tips for you (Part I)