The voice of not-enough beats at my door.
Begging begging begging me to do more.
Go there, see that, get there, be that!
Come on, girl, you don’t have much time,
Go Go Go!!
Shame Abandonment and Betrayal haunt me.
Deeds of my fathers and mothers
and my own
yelling, whispering
Why didn’t you make it on the first try?
Why do you need so much help?
You can’t do it.
Go home, girl, go home.
Hang your head down, that’s right.
Fuck off, I say.
This is my life.
I have a say.
I will abandon you, little scrappy voice.
You don’t scare me.
I have Truth on my side.
I have honored so many people I can’t even count them all.
I have stayed committed to healing and loving over years and ages and eons.
I have remained loyal to the larger voice within.
And I know my place these days.
I am the driver of this vehicle.
You? You don’t even have a license.
I will give you cookies if you like.
But see that child’s seat back there?
It’s time for you to buckle yourself in.
Cause we’re goin for a RIDE.
Love,
Debbie
