Most women I know feel exhausted. Men, this article can apply to you, too. But I’m mostly in deep conversations with women, so you’ll have to let me know your experience.
Most of the women I know work hard. They’re kind, good-natured and generous. They’ll do what it takes to be there for the people they care about, at work and at home. But why the exhaustion? Is it unhealthy diets? Is it poor time management? Is it lack of sleep? Is it politics? Is it the speed and pace of our world?
I believe it’s a combo of a lot of things but what’s underneath it all is
- a sense of feeling UNPLUGGED from their true nature, their true selves.
- a sense of feeling UNSUPPORTED by others and by life itself.
LOVE gets STUCK when it is stuffed. LOVE is our most important plug-in. LOVE is our true nature. LOVE is who we are. When we don’t let LOVE flow, our chi, our energy, gets stuck and we get sick. It often looks like energy depletion at first.
Here are 3 foundational INTERNAL CHOICES you can make right now which can turn up your heart light. Each of these choices is really a SENSATION of SUPPORT. It’s a GIFT TO YOU, FROM YOU. Each of these choices will give you the ability to turn up your heart light, which will paradoxically energize you.
- Feeling supported by YOU, yourself and YOU.
- Feeling supported by Life/ God/ Universe.
- Feeling supported by Others.
CHOICE 1: Feeling supported by YOU, yourself and YOU.
Choosing to feel supported by YOU is probably the most important act of self-honoring and self-care you can do. In fact, NO ONE ELSE In the world can do it except for you. You can have people support you in making this choice. But ultimately, it’s the number one greatest gift you can give yourself, and it opens the gates to all other gifts and choices.
You live in a free world, or a free-er world than most of your ancestors. Our greatest enemy these days usually lives in our own minds, in the form of inner-contradictions toward our own self-kindness, self-worth, heart’s desires, and belief in ourselves. Love that is not given freedom to thrive eventually de-energizes us. We think we’re depressed. But often, it’s simply our LOVE that is repressed. The FABULOUS news is that we can do something about that.
The more you tune in to your heart and the more you let your LOVE shine through, the more energy you will have. YOU get to choose. You get to choose to make your feelings important to you, before they get uncomfortable. You get to choose to make your needs and your desires important to you, before they go unmet. This one thing alone can be a game changer.
Choosing to feel supported by YOU doesn’t mean being foolish. It doesn’t mean you can dance on your toes when you haven’t practiced. Or if you’re too young, or too old for such a feat. But it DOES mean that you can let yourself enjoy the fantasy and then get as close to it as you can. I’ve seen lively 90-year olds who can boogie better than some shy 20-year olds.
Choice 2: Feeling supported by LIFE/ GOD/ UNIVERSE/ FROG.
Yes, you read that correctly. FROG. I don’t care what you call it. My spiritual mentor used to say FROG stands for Fully Relying On God. Einstein said “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”
Faith is that feeling that the whole Universe is supporting you. One of my favorite teachers says that faith is a CHOICE.
For me, when I make this choice, I feel more connected, more plugged in, more in alignment with my own sense of being. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I feel less conflict with myself and the world. This is a huge energy source, just letting myself feel supported.
Maybe you feel unsupported by life. Or maybe you chose to have faith a long time ago. Or maybe, for you, faith is a choice that you have to make over and over and over and over again. The point is that faith is a practice. It’s a way of being. IT’S A CHOICE.
Choice 3: Feeling supported by OTHERS.
People can be schmucks sometimes. Some people think I’m a schmuck. That’s okay. The fact that other people’s behavior is NOT in our control is just part of how our world works. Our weird, mysterious, amazing, grand and gorgeous world. Where are you at CHOICE when it comes to feeling supported by other people?
Brene’ Brown said that she learned to CHOOSE to believe that people are always doing their best simply because it made her feel better to believe that than to believe they’re not. I agree.
We all deserve a HIGH QUALITY of presence and attention from others, a feeling that someone else in the world deeply cares about what we think, what we feel, what we need and what we want. A feeling that someone has ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD for us. I try to give this to my closest friends and clients. I try to receive this from them as well. It’s not always easy. It takes practice to keep making this choice especially with to the multitude of distractions in our lives. We all deserve a HIGH QUALITY of presence from ourselves and from others. We have to seek it, find it and CHOOSE IT.
Les Brown, one of the most inspiring motivational speakers I’ve ever heard, says to surround yourself with OQP’s. Only Quality People. I love that! To me:
- Quality people are those who believe in themselves and who believe in you.
- Quality people continue to lift their vision and move toward new possibilities, as a lifetime habit.
- Quality people are willing to see the best in you and cheer you on.
- Quality people have your back.
- Quality people care deeply about seeing your eyes light up over the littlest things, or the biggest things.
- Quality people will do what they can to see those gorgeous eyes light up, just for the joy of it!
One of the ways I discern if a relationship or even a job or a podcast subscription is right for me, is with a PIE rating scale. Do I feel perky, eager and interested when I’m around them and when I think about them?
If not, is there something I can do about it? Maybe there is. RECIPROCITY and RESPECT are important qualities to me. If someone is not able or willing to offer these, I will tend to step back and give them some space. It might mean letting go. That’s okay, too.
My Biggest Dream
My biggest dream in the Universe is to see more and more of humanity owning their heartlights, which to me is our Divinity – and letting our gorgeous radiant light take up more space in the world.
I think the choice to FEEL SUPPORTED – by YOU, by LIFE and by OTHERS – is an internal and personal one, but the effects are endless ripples of incredibly beautiful, and very REAL, possibilities.
You’re worth it.
Much love,
Reverend SASSY SHORTS!
aka Debbie Happy Cohen and Happy D!
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