In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

In Part I of the Healing from Narcissistic Abuse series, I talked about the “Invisibility cloak” and the looks of “contempt and disdain” that the narky-nark flings at his or her target to keep them “in their place” and to keep the narky-nark feeling superior. Now, I’d like to name what happens inside the person … More In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

A rant about healing from narcissistic abuse and 3 videos – crumbs, co-narcissism and conviction

I never imagined I’d be so energized (and even excited) about discussing this topic of healing from narcissistic abuse. Seriously. Since 2009, after learning that that’s what I was dealing with, I just never wanted to hear the narky nark word again. Sheesh! It’s still hard to spell! You want to know what I think … More A rant about healing from narcissistic abuse and 3 videos – crumbs, co-narcissism and conviction

How to balance JBL Youtube and Blog Posts – things that make you go hmmm :-)

Hey Friends! One of our readers (thank you Will :-)) asked me about the Youtube vidos I’ve been posting. He wanted to know if I’m posting all of them here in the JBL blog. Nope I’m not. My strategy up till now has been: if a video fits well with a blog post, I include … More How to balance JBL Youtube and Blog Posts – things that make you go hmmm ­čÖé

Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Part 1 of this post is here. WANT TO END PROCRASTINATION FOREVER ??? Procrastination doesn’t feel hazardous, which is why so many people let themselves get away with it. It’s like a deadly non-scented toxic fume. If you’re procrastinating on the activities that would generate the most joy (for yourself and those you love)… you’re … More Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

After reading Christine Canonville’s book Shame Begets Shame, my eyes are now wide open to the harm of co-dependency literature for people who are healing from narcissistic abuse (which could have happened through parents, a sibling, or even bullying at school). The co-dependency literature isn’t just outdated, it’s misplaced and dangerous, like being given the … More Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)

Healing from ┬ánarcissistic abuse can be like walking through a rocky terrain in a dense fog. You may have a sense about where you’re going but it’s slow-going and it’s so darn easy to make mistakes along the way. Finding a sherpa is tricky because this is a leading-edge topic and most therapists don’t have … More 2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)

Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Compassion. Love. Deep and true belief in someone. When your longstanding resilience becomes your achilles heel, when your altruism is unappreciated yet compulsively given, when you are chronically invalidated and devalued… How long does it take before you feel the pain? Better yet, how long does it take before you cut the ties? If you … More Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)

The “invisible” quality of narcissism is at the heart of its ability maintain its insidious and toxic abuse. Narcissists LOOVE being able to fool the rest of the world while harming their victims in secret. If you have suffered at the hands of people who YOU LOVE, I want you to know that you are … More Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)

Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)

Well I had no idea there would be such a strong response to my first blog posts on narcissistic abuse. In fact, on Thanksgiving evening, I received an email from a long lost relative letting me know that we had similar experiences growing up. There’s a scene in the movie V for Vendetta where this … More Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)

A Woman’s Place

So I was on a call the other day with Catarina De Hoyos, one of my favorite Mary Kay consultants, and she was telling me that when she talks to women about joining the Mary Kay business, she has a special name for those appointments: Dream Sessions. She came up with this name this because … More A Woman’s Place