The timing of anger and the power of appreciation – SASSY SUNDAY 33 of 52

screenshot from recent livestream – no it’s not a slice of pizza

They say timing is everything. I believe that to be true.

The cries of racial injustice, of anxiety, of climate changes are loud. Loneliness, insecurity and fear are increasing in volume.

This is sad.

We get angry over injustice. This is right and good. Injustice that is not resolved creates all kinds of nasty ripple effects. We can see that. But what can we do about it?

The solution is actually quite simple.

Get angry sooner.

Anger gives us the energy and focus to change something NOW.

It’s like this:

Rather than WAITING to get angry over the REALLY BAD thing out there… instead, get PASSIONATE about the injustice of UNDERAPPRECIATION right here and now.



There are people in our lives, in our communities, in our neighborhoods, in our families WHO GIVE.




They give hope. Belief. Kindness. They give appreciation. And honor. And love.

You know who I’m talking about.

Maybe you’re imagining someone right now.

This person doesn’t ask for anything in return. The giving is their reward. If you TRY to shine the spotlight on them, they often feel humble or embarrassed or extremely shy.

And yet…

I’ve seen these same “kinds” of people get thrown under the bus, undervalued, betrayed, underappreciated and abandoned… I’ve seen them become really embittered. Resentful. Angry.

They exit. These wonderful human people leave. Even if they don’t go physically, they stop giving in the same way. And the flow of love, of energy, of chi, of goodwill, comes to a halt.

Now THAT is SAD.

What to do?????


What if you TOOK NOTE and ACTIVELY APPRECIATED SOMEONE who consistently offers good things to your world, to your community, to your family, to your life. . . without expecting anything in return???

And what if you did this not someday, but NOW???

In Joy-Based Living, we call this practice FEED THE C.O.W. (Container of Worthiness). MOOOOOOO!!!!!!

When we actively appreciate each other frequently and loudly (ever see a basketball game, the players are CONSTANTLY giving each other eye contact and high fiving each other), we cooperate better, we take care of things BEFORE they get out of hand. Why?

Because we would grow trust. We would count on the fact that when we give and give, someone will notice. We will be acknowledged. We will feel more welcomed, not less. We will feel more connection, not less. We SHOULD.

The secret key word here is RECIPROCITY.

I wonder this:

If we got angry sooner, would we correct ourselves sooner by offering appreciation sooner and mitigating a whole lot of shit?

YOU deserve to live in healthy communities just like trees deserve to live in healthy soil. Our healthy environments are EACH OTHER. We get to choose our subcultures of wellness.

I encourage you to choose or create your own where RECIPROCITY is active, alive and welcomed.

Your choice is your life.

Much love, much joy, much honor to you.


ps. Yes Reverend SASSY SHORTS! is still in the house AND AND AND I’ve created a brand new format that quite frankly is KICKING ARSE! I feel like a hermit crab who’s found a much bigger and more comfy shell.

In the new format, the livestream interaction is SO MUCH FUN! I’m receiving great suggestions and questions and from audience members and am responding to them with pure glee. And they are responding to each other, appreciating each other and feeding each other’s COWS!!! This is how JOY grows!!! AMEN AND AMEN!!!

Yes, you’ll have to invest a little to participate, but, you know, you’re SO worth it. Join my new daily Livestreams at

Subscribe at $5 or more to get in.

Debbie Happy Cohen, author and coach, is the founder of Joy-Based Living. Her Master’s Degree is in counseling, specializing in family systems, healing emotional trauma, and practical spirituality. Also affectionately known as Happy D! and Reverend SASSY SHORTS!, she lives on Lookout Mountain in Alabama, near Chattanooga, Tennessee. Her books include Reach Your Stars!, SANCTUARY, It’s All About Kids: Every Child Deserves a Teacher of the Year, and I Don’t Think So! Her social media playgrounds as well as the SANCTUARY ebook can be found right here.

2 thoughts on “The timing of anger and the power of appreciation – SASSY SUNDAY 33 of 52

    PLEASE KEEP ROCKIN’ US OUT HERE, WHENEVER YOU CAN MAKE TIME FOR SUCH!! (Those of us not suited fro the “other” format you mentioned.) ‘CUZ WE APPRECIATE DEEPLY WHAT YOU GIVE HERE… WAY!!
    Sending You Many Thanks & Well-Wishes…

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