Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences

Feeling safe with others who honor our authentic experience is the heartbeat of a joyful life. In such relationships, essential simplicity is a way of being. On the other hand, grandiosity and fear of being ordinary are the mainstays of a narcissistic personality. Constant complexity is the order of the day. Shame and fear are … More Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences

Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse

Let’s contemplate the idea of seeing narcissistic abuse as a magic trick, a hypnotic sleight of hand. Here are a couple of movie examples for you to consider: In Aladdin, Jafar the nark is sooo tall, looming over the sultan, who is sooo small in comparison. Jafar uses his snakey staff to hypnotize the sultan … More Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse

In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

In Part I of the Healing from Narcissistic Abuse series, I talked about the “Invisibility cloak” and the looks of “contempt and disdain” that the narky-nark flings at his or her target to keep them “in their place” and to keep the narky-nark feeling superior. Now, I’d like to name what happens inside the person … More In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Part 1 of this post is here. WANT TO END PROCRASTINATION FOREVER ??? Procrastination doesn’t feel hazardous, which is why so many people let themselves get away with it. It’s like a deadly non-scented toxic fume. If you’re procrastinating on the activities that would generate the most joy (for yourself and those you love)… you’re … More Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Compassion. Love. Deep and true belief in someone. When your longstanding resilience becomes your achilles heel, when your altruism is unappreciated yet compulsively given, when you are chronically invalidated and devalued… How long does it take before you feel the pain? Better yet, how long does it take before you cut the ties? If you … More Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)

Well I had no idea there would be such a strong response to my first blog posts on narcissistic abuse. In fact, on Thanksgiving evening, I received an email from a long lost relative letting me know that we had similar experiences growing up. There’s a scene in the movie V for Vendetta where this … More Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)

Horses and grasshoppers and thistles, O MY!

When I was a little girl, my auntie used to read coffee grounds at our family gatherings. After dinner, the adults would line up with their almost-empty Turkish coffee cups, which were carefully turned upside-down on the saucers, with the remaining clump of coffee grounds semi-dried (stuck to the bottom and sides of the cup). … More Horses and grasshoppers and thistles, O MY!

Don’t Hide Your Life (Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Part III)

Hello friends, I knew there would be a Part III to complete this series, but it surprised me when it emerged as a video. So … here you go! The links to Part I and Part II are below. The world needs your magic! Big love, Debbie Part I of this blog post: https://joybasedliving.com/2018/10/23/at-the-heart-of-narcissistic-abuse-2-core-abusive-behaviors-why-they-do-it-and-3-tips-for-you/ Part … More Don’t Hide Your Life (Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Part III)