Have you been Narcissized? Seven affirmations for breaking the trauma bond.

These days, when someone asks for my help because they’re feeling perplexed, confused, distracted, “dilemma’d”, the next thing I listen for is if they’ve just experienced communication with a narcissist (or someone who’s part of the nark’s web) . . . IF the answer is “yes,” . . . THEN the communication pattern becomes the … More Have you been Narcissized? Seven affirmations for breaking the trauma bond.

Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences

Feeling safe with others who honor our authentic experience is the heartbeat of a joyful life. In such relationships, essential simplicity is a way of being. On the other hand, grandiosity and fear of being ordinary are the mainstays of a narcissistic personality. Constant complexity is the order of the day. Shame and fear are … More Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences

What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.

  Bottom line: A narcissistic personality is one that experiences a core shame and then creates a distorted grandiose image in order to avoid the shame (doth thou protest too much, eh?). In order to maintain their image and avoid their pain (and because shame is a relational experience), a narky nark needs others to … More What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.

Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

(If you received 2 blog posts from me in your email today and the first link isn’t working, it’s because it was replaced with this one… sorry about any confusion!) A close friend of mine has a hubby who designs spaces like a bad-ass mofo.┬áHe says that of the 6 key design elements (scale, size, … More Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Part 1 of this post is here. WANT TO END PROCRASTINATION FOREVER ??? Procrastination doesn’t feel hazardous, which is why so many people let themselves get away with it. It’s like a deadly non-scented toxic fume. If you’re procrastinating on the activities that would generate the most joy (for yourself and those you love)… you’re … More Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

After reading Christine Canonville’s book Shame Begets Shame, my eyes are now wide open to the harm of co-dependency literature for people who are healing from narcissistic abuse (which could have happened through parents, a sibling, or even bullying at school). The co-dependency literature isn’t just outdated, it’s misplaced and dangerous, like being given the … More Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Compassion. Love. Deep and true belief in someone. When your longstanding resilience becomes your achilles heel, when your altruism is unappreciated yet compulsively given, when you are chronically invalidated and devalued… How long does it take before you feel the pain? Better yet, how long does it take before you cut the ties? If you … More Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)

The “invisible” quality of narcissism is at the heart of its ability maintain its insidious and toxic abuse. Narcissists LOOVE being able to fool the rest of the world while harming their victims in secret. If you have suffered at the hands of people who YOU LOVE, I want you to know that you are … More Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)