These days, many people are hyper-focused in the question “WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?” The question is usually compulsive and demanding and I see it as a trap that isn’t likely to lead to real change or transformation. One of the most important things I provide as a life and business coach is space and time: undivided attention where we pause and gently consider what’s most important. One of the tools I use is “conscious questions.”
You can coach yourself by using “conscious questions” to generate clarity. What’s important is to be gentle and general and not try to force answers. The goal isn’t to define something to “DO” but to open yourself to your best inner knowing. I promise you, you won’t be bored and you WILL access greater intelligence, intuition and joy. Here are a few examples of questions that occur to me when I’m listening to someone:
- what is she feeling?
- is she aware of what she’s truly feeling?
- does she know what she wants?
- what is she really and truly wanting?
- what obstacle does she think is in her way?
- what is the real obstacle she is facing, underneath the challenge she is presenting?
Clarity will rise up very naturally, especially if you give yourself space and kindness. “Answers” may appear in an instant, or they may appear minutes or hours, or even days later. These may appear in many different forms, such as:
- specific steps
- an image
- a sensation in your body
- a shift in breathing or movement
If you practice being curious without being demanding, you’ll develop a really amazing relationship with yourself. Here is an example that I personally used today. I asked myself these questions and wrote them down:
What, in my life, wants to be noticed or experienced in order for me to feel my best today? What wants to be seen, validated or appreciated?
Immediately, in my mind I saw the cover of one of my favorite chakra books called Celtic Chakras.
I also felt a strong urge to listen to my recording of the meditation in the book. Then I felt inspired to write to you here.
See what I mean? Guidance and action are natural outcomes of “tuning in.” Sometimes the guidance looks like taking a nap, calling a friend or getting a specific task completed.
I’m going to post the recording in the Joy-Based Living Patreon community. Patreon is a place where artists, writers and creators receive support for our work. So, if you are supporting me at $1 or more per month, you can listen to it along with me.
With so much love,