It’s Reverend SASSY SHORTS here for another SASSY SUNDAY! A few weeks back, I shared 4 stages for thriving after trauma. They are: Stuck, Shocked, Hell No, Hell Yes!
I noticed that a lot of people get stuck in the boundary-setting stage of HELL NO. And we just can’t have that now, can we? Let’s rev our engines with some HELL YES energy! (I know, the graphic says just the opposite, but wait for it!)
What will you do to enliven your HELL YES energy today?
“Taking action” is a good idea, of course. But that answer is way too vague and usually leads to floppy, inconsistent action. Instead, I say: SUPERCHARGE!
Here are 5 steps I created just for YOU.
ONE: What are you saying HELL YES to? Define it or name it as specifically as you can.
Here are a few of examples to enliven your imagination.
I’m so inspired by the brilliant and bodacious Eric Weinstein. He’s a Harvard mathematician who was a misfit throughout most of his school years. The problem, according to him, was that his “superpowers” were not supported by the “teaching disabilities” in the school system. I looooove his perspective!
When he got older, he visited a museum and learned that MATH was the language of the universe. He was so amazed and in awe by what he saw that even though math was one of the most difficult subjects for him, he became determined to learn it. He declared to himself, “NO ONE IS GOING TO FENCE ME OUT!”
Well, they didn’t. And he learned THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNIVERSE.
For me, a few years ago, I REALLY wanted to have a community of people who would support each other in an ongoing, empowering way. I wanted a place where we could grow and learn together, and cheer each other on and bring out the best in each other. Joy-Based Living was born in 2016. We agreed that we would be “imperfect and awesome.” And we definitely are both!
What showed up a year later was that many of us were suffering with COMPLEX Post Traumatic Stress. Holy Moley! What had we gotten into? How would we get through this? Well, a bunch of us kept learning and growing, expanding our knowledge about trauma and how to heal it. We successfully MOVED THROUGH that corridor and to the other side. The joy so many of us are able to experience now, on an embodied level, is completely satisfying to my soul. WE DID IT! Also, knowing they can reach out to each other, and that I can reach out to each one of them, is a REALLY BIG WOW.
About 20 years ago, my biggest HELL YES was to bring top-tier corporate training and seminars to teachers and kids. I got to touch thousands of lives, and corporations paid me to do it. It was a wild, gorgeous, amazing ride called REACH YOUR STARS!
What would you LOOOOVE to bring to the table?
TWO: Commit to your HELL YES desires!
Maybe you’re committed to improving your communication skills. Or maybe you’re committed to discovering your calling. Or maybe you want to learn how to do flip flops on ice. Whatever it is . . .
If you’re 100% committed, you can skip to step THREE.
If you’re less than 100% then keep exploring your desires and your ideas until you find an activity or dream or a skill that feels meaningful to you. After graduating high school, I became fascinated by visualization and hypnosis techniques. I practiced on myself and my friends and family. People told me I had a very soothing voice, and the more positive responses I received, the more unstoppable I became. I became obsessed with learning more and improving my skills.
One day, I discovered coaching. And it was as though the great sun came out from behind the clouds. I knew immediately that this was my calling. I would coach just about anyone, anywhere under any condition. I would coach while sitting, walking, swimming, and probably in my sleep! I even coached my birds and my dog! Clearly, I still feel a strong conviction and deep commitment to this amazing, life-giving path. I wish EVERYONE had coaching skills. I wish everyone had a coach! Major HELL YES!
THREE: Pick an alter-ego!
Choose a personality, a character, or a persona, that you can embody when you are engaging your HELL YES activity.
Who do you admire? We humans are creatures of emulation. We are like little monkeys that LOOOOVE to copy what we see! When I was little, I had a cousin who loved Superman so much that he would even where his cape to synagogue.
Why should you leave your childhood imagination and brilliance behind?
This isn’t about ego, it’s about presence. Who makes you feel like a superhero when you think about him or her? Maybe it’s a grandparent? Maybe it’s Batman? Let yourself embody him or her. Play pretend. Enjoy the play! Thanks again to Todd Herman for sharing this in his book The Alter Ego Effect.
I like to embody the spirit of Lady Liberty when I’m writing or coaching or speaking.
For FREEDOM’s sake, I am committed to seeing more people taking full ownership of their greatness AND their kindness and bringing their greatest gifts to to the table of life.
What gifts will you dare to share?
FOUR: Find someone(s) who will support you in your journey!
Connect with at least one person who will believe in you! Choose someone who will see your HELL YES possibility so strongly in you that they will hold you accountable. This can be really fun . . . and it can also be uncomfortable! For example, your friend will imagine you completing your book, and when you go out for lunch, they’ll ask you how it’s going.
You might ask them to give you a high five (or a gold star) for having completed 5 pages! ORRRRR… you might feel guilty or ashamed for not having accomplished much. Regardless of where you are in your process, THANK THEM FOR CARING AND FOR ASKING!!!
When it comes to guilt and shame, REVEREND SASSY SHORTS says: I DON’T THINK SO! In fact, her French ostrich feather duster, nicknamed “Monsieur Le Plume,” is here to encourage you to face the nasty feelings and DUST THEM RIGHT OFF! Then get on with your task at hand!
During acceptance speeches for awards, most winners will thank someone who truly believed in them. If you don’t have someone in your life YET, then your first HELL YES task is to find one! I created JBL for so that I could have a meaningful, ongoing support system! If you’re up to something worthwhile, positive and good, I promise you that if you reach out, you will find someone who will offer you a helping hand. And you can offer them one, too!
Invitation: You can join our JBL community at Patreon! I’ve been posting more goodies there because it’s more private than a blog. If there’s enough interest, I may even start a regular group coaching call for you to share your biggest hurdles and your greatest dreams. Here’s the Patreon link.
FIVE: Practice Faith
Faith in yourself, faith in others and faith in LIFE ITSELF will add great big feathers to your wings and help you SOAR!!! When faith is backed by even the TINIEST of steps, you open the door for real magic to happen.
The truth of the matter is: YOU ARE SO VERY WORTH IT!!
Big Love to YOU!
Debbie Happy Cohen
aka Reverend SASSY SHORTS!
I want you to LOVE negotiating for JOY! | Author | Coach at Joy-Based Living
ps. Stay tuned next week for three very SASSY mantras to help you stay in your power in the face of nasty ninjas like doubts and fears.