How to be a loving witness

On Tuesday, December 20, 2022, I’m leading 2 online events:

  • Authenticity Workout
  • Authentic Friendships after CPTSD

You can learn more and register here:

This message was inspired by my friend Michele who was deeply moved by tWitch’s suicide. So many people were surprised! I wonder how many loving witnesses he had in his darkness. (Maybe none. How sad.)

Being a loving witness is the kindest gift you can give to yourself and everyone in the world. The ripple effects are tremendous.It takes some skill, but the skills to be a loving witness can easily be learned by regular people. (Not just counselors, coaches, or clergy.)

The main requirement is being present.

In a world full of distractions, this might require a deeper commitment, or even a conviction on your part.We need to all take ownership of our power, the power to be a loving witness.

When people are lovingly witnessed, they get to see that they are not alone.

When people feel appreciated for their very existence, their softness and generosity grows stronger and brighter. So, what does it mean to be a loving witness?

It means getting comfortable about being in your own skin in the following three areas:

  1. Your sense of disconnection from self (or trauma)
  2. Your spiritual connection (or lack there of)
  3. Your biggest dreams and best self

Loving witnesses teach us that we are safe no matter what we feel.

Loving witnesses let us know that we have worth, just as we are.

We can’t live in a vacuum. Our staunch individuality is kicking our ass collectively.

Here are the ABC’s for creating authentic connections, or spaces, where loving witnessing can happen:

A stands for About me: share your curiosities and your talents within a group of authentic connections, or loving witnesses.

B stands for Be a friend: share the truth of your experience with another person, a loving witness. Let them share the truth of their experience with you.

C stands for Community: share the truth of your experience with a group of loving witnesses. Let others share the truth of their experience.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are social creatures. We need each other. We need to know that the soft, tender parts of ourselves belong.When we don’t know this, we die.Look around everyone. People are hurting. People are afraid.

There are many ways to be a loving witness.

Next time you go to the grocery store, be a loving witness to the cashier.

Next time you talk to your kid, be a loving witness to their journey.

Next time you go out to dinner, put your phone away.

Learn to listen. Be a loving witness.

Being a loving witness begins with you. One person at a time becoming comfortable in their own skin.

If you want to learn the skills to become a loving witness, please register for one of the upcoming events I’m hosting!

Happy Holidays!

Debbie Happy Cohen, Life coach, Author and Founder of Joy-Based Living

At Joy-Based Living, Love is our superpower and Meaningful Conversations are our world.

Debbie Happy Cohen
Debbie Happy Cohen

Debbie Happy Cohen, author, coach and artist, is the founder of Joy-Based Living. She loves spending time with magical, kind, thoughtful, inspiring people. Her Master’s Degree is in counseling but her experience comes from 20 years of coaching people to bring out the best in themselves and others. Also affectionately known as Happy D! and Reverend SASSY SHORTS!, she lives on Lookout Mountain in Alabama, near Chattanooga, Tennessee. Her books include The 12 Practices, The JBL Planner for Daily Self-Reflection, Reach Your Stars!, SANCTUARY: 4 Mantras for Thriving After Emotional Trauma, It’s All About Kids: Every Child Deserves a Teacher of the Year, and a children’s book I Don’t Think So!

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