This blog post continually receives a large number of views, so I felt compelled to add this update on Jan 18, 2020. I have been on a search for you to refer you to someone who can support you in healing CPTSR/ CPTSD – someone who knows their stuff, is friendly and professional, and is … More Have you been Narcissized? Seven affirmations for breaking the trauma bond.
Feeling safe with others who honor our authentic experience is the heartbeat of a joyful life. In such relationships, essential simplicity is a way of being. On the other hand, grandiosity and fear of being ordinary are the mainstays of a narcissistic personality. Constant complexity is the order of the day. Shame and fear are … More Healing collective narcissism – thoughts on healthy anger, grief, intimidation and honoring our most basic experiences
Let’s contemplate the idea of seeing narcissistic abuse as a magic trick, a hypnotic sleight of hand. Here are a couple of movie examples for you to consider: In Aladdin, Jafar the nark is sooo tall, looming over the sultan, who is sooo small in comparison. Jafar uses his snakey staff to hypnotize the sultan … More Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse
I wasn’t born to be anyone’s lighting, to turn toward them constantly for the purpose of highlighting their grandiosity. I like giving to my friends. My undivided Attention. Affection. Energy. Emotion. These are priceless gifts. I love giving these gifts and receiving them. But, like most people, I don’t enjoy giving them to people who … More No one likes being forced to share. #communism #narcissism
Bottom line: A narcissistic personality is one that experiences a core shame and then creates a distorted grandiose image in order to avoid the shame (doth thou protest too much, eh?). In order to maintain their image and avoid their pain (and because shame is a relational experience), a narky nark needs others to … More What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.
Update November 8 2020: I believe this post describes the an important reason for having a spiritual belief and practice. Aligning your energy and intention with the benevolent goodness of the Universe offers a true and deep feeling of security. As children, we automatically have faith in those bigger than us, our caregivers. As adults, … More Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
In Part I of the Healing from Narcissistic Abuse series, I talked about the “Invisibility cloak” and the looks of “contempt and disdain” that the narky-nark flings at his or her target to keep them “in their place” and to keep the narky-nark feeling superior. Now, I’d like to name what happens inside the person … More In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse
Part 1 of this post is here. WANT TO END PROCRASTINATION FOREVER ??? Procrastination doesn’t feel hazardous, which is why so many people let themselves get away with it. It’s like a deadly non-scented toxic fume. If you’re procrastinating on the activities that would generate the most joy (for yourself and those you love)… you’re … More Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse
After reading Christine Canonville’s book Shame Begets Shame, my eyes are now wide open to the harm of co-dependency literature for people who are healing from narcissistic abuse (which could have happened through parents, a sibling, or even bullying at school). The co-dependency literature isn’t just outdated, it’s misplaced and dangerous, like being given the … More Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist
Healing from narcissistic abuse can be like walking through a rocky terrain in a dense fog. You may have a sense about where you’re going but it’s slow-going and it’s so darn easy to make mistakes along the way. Finding a sherpa is tricky because this is a leading-edge topic and most therapists don’t have … More 2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)
