What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.


Bottom line: A narcissistic personality is one that experiences a core shame and then creates a distorted grandiose image in order to avoid the shame (doth thou protest too much, eh?).

In order to maintain their image and avoid their pain (and because shame is a relational experience), a narky nark needs others to validate and affirm their distortion.

This wouldn’t be so problematic except that their hidden shame has to go somewhere.  By projecting it onto others, those others get to appear small while the nark feels big.

And THIS wouldn’t be a problem if the others didn’t buy into the distorted, small, less-than image of THEMSELVES.

But – alas – it’s our humanness that causes innocent people to “buy in”.

Please don’t blame yourself. Take responsibility for yourself.

But don’t shame-blame. That will keep the distortion of YOU alive.

What we’re doing in the healing process is simply finding a more realistic and truthful mirror… about OURSELVES. Remembering who we REALLY are. So that JOY can flow through. So that our authentic power can guide our lives.

You exist. Your feelings matter. Your needs matter.

You are capable of meeting your needs and fulfilling your desires.

This is the last thing in the world the nark wants you to know. That’s why they work so hard to convince you otherwise.

It’s time for you to unsubscribe from their reality. They may be long dead and gone but you may be still subscribing. Unsubscribe. Find your true identity. Subscribe – and be LOYAL – to your true perceptions and perspectives.

Check out my other blog posts and youtubes on the topic. (For blog posts, type “narcissistic abuse” into the search bar at the bottom of this page)

You can do this.

You got this.

I believe in you.

With love,

Happy D!

Proportion Scale Design
design element: proportion and scale


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