THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO PEOPLE WHO INVEST IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT ! KUDOS !!
SHAME AWARENESS KIT
After personal development meetings, or conversations, you might find yourself thinking:
OMG I TALKED TOO MUCH!
I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!
I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT!
OMG I HOPE I DIDN’T HURT THAT PERSON!
I’M SO EMBARRASSED!!
If so… you’re not alone.
I’m pretty sure every single one of us has felt that way at one time or another.
I sure have!!!!
I wrote this SHAME AWARENESS KIT just for you.
Please share comments and questions below.
We are pioneering a new way of relating and it’s working.
You can trust the process. And as you do, you will learn to trust yourself more and more
SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE. THANK YOU FOR SHOWING UP!
Debbie Happy Cohen
SHAME AWARENESS KIT
At Joy-Based Living, we value AUTHENTICITY.
Showing up AUTHENTICALLY is one of our CORE VALUES.
At Joy-Based Living, we exercise our Authenticity like a muscle.
We seek to develop it in our lives because we realize that true joy, intimacy and wellbeing are possible ONLY WITH AUTHENTICITY.
When we have to trade our AUTHENTICITY for BELONGING, we suffer greatly.
The enemy of AUTHENTICITY is SHAME.
SHAME is a sneaky little bugger.
At Joy-Based Living, we nicknamed shame “a sneaky ninja!” or “a dirty ninja!”
SHAME causes us to hide our true selves.
Too much SHAME causes stress.
WAY TOO MUCH SHAME CAUSES TRAUMA.
The SNEAKY THING is: when we’re healing, when we’re opening up our AUTHENTIC SELVES and setting ourselves free, SHAME bubbles back up on its way out.
It can be SO CONFUSING for people who are new to the process.
But I can promise you that it gets MUCH easier as you go.
As you learn to recognize it, you’ll release it much quicker. Practice and repetition go a long way.
YOUR JOY AND FREEDOM ARE SO WORTH IT!!
Here’s how the healing process happens:
Real AUTHENTICITY can’t grow in a vacuum.
Our AUTHENTICITY develops in relationship with other people.
(sorry!!! this is bad news for my hyper-independent, do-it-yourself, I-got-this, I-don’t-wanna-burden-anyone friends!!)
Other people shaped us… culturally conditioned us… SHAMED US… into hiding our authenticity. They did it so well that we kept the SHAME going all by ourselves.
Many of us have shamed our AUTHENTIC SELVES into the shadows.
This is the absolute ROOT of our society’s craziness.
SOOOO… a bunch of really cool people are realizing this now…
Research spearheaded by people like Dr. Brené Brown (see videos below) and Dr. Gabor Maté whose stunning new book The Myth of Normal, should be required reading for every adult in the world.
HERE’S THE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW:
As you grow your authenticity, the shame which was hidden in you will come up right alongside the quality about yourself that you were hiding.
As you “come out of the closet” with your gifts, your truthful feelings, your hurtful memories, etc… as you speak them into being… SHAME will come up too.
SHAME THRIVES IN SECRECY, SILENCE AND JUDGMENT. ~ Dr. Brené Brown
So when that which was SHAMED sees the light of day, THE SHAME DIES!!!!!
Within Authentic relationships, we get to heal ourselves and set ourselves free from its grip.
As we become LOVING WITNESSES to ourselves, we UnShame and we give other people permission to be AUTHENTIC around us. This is how we heal ourselves and our culture.
These videos, along with Dr. Gabor’s book, are essential tools for your journey.
YOU GOT THIS.
You aren’t alone.
Thank you for doing this inner work.