At the heart of codependency is a belief that YOU are somehow responsible for someone else’s happiness EVEN WHEN they are old enough to take responsibility for their own – but they don’t. They prefer to put it on you. If you have taken it on – (maybe you were too young to say no, … More Say Goodbye to Beasts of Burden – Yippee-Ki-yay! (codependency, CPTSD, CPTSR)
I’m not what you’d call a “sky-is-falling” type of person. I stopped watching the news when I committed to being part of the solution, by bringing Reach Your Stars empowerment seminars to kids and teachers around 20 years ago. When you’re part of the solution, you’re too busy contributing to bother with repeat-fear-mongering. You’re doing something about … More Connection (Part 3) Social Media and Being Part of the Solution
Finding healthy power and balance after emotional trauma* can be tricky because there is a tendency to go back to what’s familiar which isn’t necessarily what’s healthy! The Goldilocks fairy tale offers a great metaphor that can help you find your way. “This porridge is too cold, this one is too hot… and this one … More Goldilocks and the 3 Levels of Power
Inner prisons are made of learned lock-downs to emotions that were once deemed unacceptable. As children, if we were punished or rejected (or if we witnessed others being punished or rejected) for expressing a particular emotion, we learned to shut-down those unacceptable things, and seal them tight. I find it easy to imagine an innocent … More Chocolate Walls – Reparenting with Warmth and Mercy
I haven’t talked much about spirituality and God on this blog because I think the word “God” can really isolate and alienate people. Which is the opposite of connection, and therefore the opposite of JOY. There’s just too much baggage around “the word” God. Too many individuals and groups have used it to control, punish, torture … More Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God. – Madeleine L’Engle
When someone you love is repeatedly hurtful, facing reality can be hard. For this reason, whether it’s your own bubble of denial or someone else’s, popping such bubbles isn’t usually fun and (more often than not) requires repetition. Resistance is often due to Stockholm Syndrome (also known as trauma bonding or toxic loyalty). But the … More Popping bubbles of denial – how many need to burst before you can face reality? (cptsd, healing from emotional abuse)
Raised in a narcissistic household, I became very familiar with looks (and words) of disgust and contempt flung mercilessly at anyone and everyone. As a child, I couldn’t distinguish the fact that those messages were unwarranted and that they were not about me (or the others who received their blasts of contempt). And so, I … More Disgust, Contempt and Self-rejection OY VEY (Healing after narcissistic abuse)
Envy is something that’s taken me a while to really understand, and yesterday I got such pristine clarity about it. The breakthrough is so freeing to me that I couldn’t wait to share it with you. Healthy person When a healthy person sees someone else doing or being something they want to do or be … More Envy, Indignation and Colon/Bladder Sensitivities (IBS and healing from narcissistic abuse)
