When someone you love is repeatedly hurtful, facing reality can be hard. For this reason, whether it’s your own bubble of denial or someone else’s, popping such bubbles isn’t usually fun and (more often than not) requires repetition. Resistance is often due to Stockholm Syndrome (also known as trauma bonding or toxic loyalty). But the resistance to popping out of denial and into reality can also be caused by beliefs about being spiritual, not wanting to judge others, wanting to be a “good” person, not wanting to think badly of anyone, etc. (I’m sure you can come up with your own!)
Denial was my chosen path for many years. I jumped from a very traditional Jewish family that sticks together at all costs into books, communities and mindsets such as A Course in Miracles, Unity Church, Reiki, etc., as well as two degrees in psychology. I was committed to being positive at all costs and I was a MESS! Thankfully beliefs can change (they do as we mature and transform); and trauma bonds can be broken. THANK GOD!!!
The most recent info (last 5 years or so) on resolving C-PTSD and emotional flashbacks is absolutely awesome. I love watching so many peers popping INTO greater strength, clarity and joy after C-PTSD, which most psychologists were either blind to or did not feel hope for. Pete Walker and Richard Grannon are great teachers in the field.
If you’re dealing with such stuff, I can’t recommend them highly enough for those who are dealing with the cult-like aftermath effects of systematic emotional abuse. (As I said in a previous post, I’m going to cut down on the “n-word” (narcissistic abuse) and instead focus on resolving Complex PTSD. I think this puts the locus of control exactly where it needs to be and from my experience, I think it’s doable. I’d like to credit Richard Grannon for his leading edge work in quickening the healing process which Pete Walker laid out.
Here’s Pete Walker’s definition of Complex PTSD from his book by the same name:
Cptsd is a more severe form of Post-traumatic stress disorder. It is delineated from this better known trauma syndrome by five of its most common and troublesome features: emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a vicious inner critic and social anxiety.
Cheers to your empowered joy. Bring it on!
With love,
Happy D!
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