Class: It’s not for everyone. And neither is Joy-Based Living. One of our JBL members, deJoly LaBrier, just posted this in our private Basecamp community and I am sharing it with you with her permission because it is golden. She is just so freakin’ authentic and I love that! Feeling overcome with gratitude for the … More Why Joy-Based Living is truly NOT for normal people
The only reason the nark works so hard to make you believe you’re helpless and choiceless the only reason they come on so strong is because they are lying. And training you to believe a lie about yourself is not easy. They know that if they back off from their agenda to make you feel … More Let your joy rise like bread in an oven – healing after narcissistic abuse
Bottom line: A narcissistic personality is one that experiences a core shame and then creates a distorted grandiose image in order to avoid the shame (doth thou protest too much, eh?). In order to maintain their image and avoid their pain (and because shame is a relational experience), a narky nark needs others to … More What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.
That depends. On whether they are honored or shamed. Whether they are treated with loyalty or betrayal. Whether they are welcomed with your presence or rejected through your absence. Tune in. Today. Right now. This moment. You Know Where They Go. Shhh… listen within… I’ll say more in a future blog post. For now, take … More Where do all the feelings go? (Part I)
In Part I of the Healing from Narcissistic Abuse series, I talked about the “Invisibility cloak” and the looks of “contempt and disdain” that the narky-nark flings at his or her target to keep them “in their place” and to keep the narky-nark feeling superior. Now, I’d like to name what happens inside the person … More In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse
Healing from narcissistic abuse can be like walking through a rocky terrain in a dense fog. You may have a sense about where you’re going but it’s slow-going and it’s so darn easy to make mistakes along the way. Finding a sherpa is tricky because this is a leading-edge topic and most therapists don’t have … More 2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)
Compassion. Love. Deep and true belief in someone. When your longstanding resilience becomes your achilles heel, when your altruism is unappreciated yet compulsively given, when you are chronically invalidated and devalued… How long does it take before you feel the pain? Better yet, how long does it take before you cut the ties? If you … More Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.
The “invisible” quality of narcissism is at the heart of its ability maintain its insidious and toxic abuse. Narcissists LOOVE being able to fool the rest of the world while harming their victims in secret. If you have suffered at the hands of people who YOU LOVE, I want you to know that you are … More Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)
Well I had no idea there would be such a strong response to my first blog posts on narcissistic abuse. In fact, on Thanksgiving evening, I received an email from a long lost relative letting me know that we had similar experiences growing up. There’s a scene in the movie V for Vendetta where this … More Authentic Presence: A cure for loneliness (Healing from narcissistic abuse Part IV)
About 10 years ago, someone suggested I attend a co-dependency type of meeting. I was going through a lot of deep transformation and although I resisted the idea (big time), I finally made my way through the doors. I promised I would at least give it a try. That I would attend 6 meetings. Ugh. … More The Magic in You: AAA mantra for freeing your JOY!