when abuse is invisible

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote this article: Invisibles Anonymous and have received quite a few awesome responses from readers, so I believe it’s striking a chord. Here’s a poem that is emerging from that conversation: Much love, Happy D!

Chocolate Walls – Reparenting with Warmth and Mercy

Inner prisons are made of learned lock-downs to emotions that were once deemed unacceptable. As children, if we were punished or rejected (or if we witnessed others being punished or rejected) for expressing a particular emotion, we learned to shut-down those unacceptable things, and seal them tight. I find it easy to imagine an innocent … More Chocolate Walls – Reparenting with Warmth and Mercy

Invisibility Exacerbates Trauma – Let Yourself Be Seen

A few months ago, I purchased InvisiblesAnonymous.com after beginning to understand the prevalence of loneliness, trauma, and the healing power of truly being seen. Yesterday, I felt inspired to write this short essay and it was so juicy good that I wanted it to have its own unique URL: https://joybasedliving.com/invisiblesanonymous/. Fortunately, I am not invisible … More Invisibility Exacerbates Trauma – Let Yourself Be Seen

The SuperPowers of Validation and Tactical Empathy in Healing after Emotional Abuse (CPTSD CPTSR)

You shouldn’t need years of therapy after emotional abuse to stop being held hostage by your very own: old thoughts, feelings, beliefs, conditioning or memories. Tactical Empathy is now used by the FBI because it takes MINUTES or SECONDS. Apply it for yourself. Let me know how it goes. Cheers to you, to your freedom … More The SuperPowers of Validation and Tactical Empathy in Healing after Emotional Abuse (CPTSD CPTSR)

You are not alone – funny story – keep your dreams alive – transform with compassion

You know how sometimes you find yourself repeating the same darn pattern of “the same mistake” and you just can’t see what’s driving the whole thing? Repetition compulsion can be devastating. But also very funny! We repeat what we know. We repeat decisions that we made a long long time ago when our discernment abilities … More You are not alone – funny story – keep your dreams alive – transform with compassion

A drunk gazelle is like a bald tire (emotional abuse, emotional flashbacks, cptsd, cptsr, 5 finger mnemonic)

Having emotional flashbacks isn’t necessarily a negative or bad experience. Daydreaming, creativity, relaxed contentment can feel like a day on the beach whilst being surrounded by cray-cray people. Opium, LSD and alcohol can also be pleasant. But they’re not good for driving. Or for gazelles living in the grasslands of Africa. Relaxed alertness is gold. … More A drunk gazelle is like a bald tire (emotional abuse, emotional flashbacks, cptsd, cptsr, 5 finger mnemonic)

Wonder why people are shifting away from psychologists and therapists? This is why I did.

On one of the narcissistic abuse (n/a) channels, a speaker (not Simon) talked about a concern that n/a is leaving the realms of the professionals and has become a mainstream-healing topic which is frequently not getting the depth of psychological attention it deserves. He asked for comments and I would like to share my reply … More Wonder why people are shifting away from psychologists and therapists? This is why I did.

How to strengthen yourself to say NO to emotional abuse – #1 key phrase to negotiate with yourself or your client (Chris Voss) (CPTSD CPTSR emotional flashbacks) (double bind) (coaching)

Chris Voss, expert hostage negotiator, and author of Never Split the Difference, says: “That’s right” is what we say “when we feel completely heard, and there’s a chemical change that takes place in our brain — it is a subtle epiphany. And when you feel an epiphany, you feel better, you just don’t know where … More How to strengthen yourself to say NO to emotional abuse – #1 key phrase to negotiate with yourself or your client (Chris Voss) (CPTSD CPTSR emotional flashbacks) (double bind) (coaching)