Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse

Let’s contemplate the idea of seeing narcissistic abuse as a magic trick, a hypnotic sleight of hand. Here are a couple of movie examples for you to consider: In Aladdin, Jafar the nark is sooo tall, looming over the sultan, who is sooo small in comparison. Jafar uses his snakey staff to hypnotize the sultan … More Beat the Nark – break the spell with Marty McFly and Aladdin – healing from narcissistic abuse

No one likes being forced to share. #communism #narcissism

I wasn’t born to be anyone’s lighting, to turn toward them constantly for the purpose of highlighting their grandiosity. I like giving to my friends. My undivided Attention. Affection. Energy. Emotion. These are priceless gifts. I love giving these gifts and receiving them. But, like most people, I don’t enjoy giving them to people who … More No one likes being forced to share. #communism #narcissism

What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.

  Bottom line: A narcissistic personality is one that experiences a core shame and then creates a distorted grandiose image in order to avoid the shame (doth thou protest too much, eh?). In order to maintain their image and avoid their pain (and because shame is a relational experience), a narky nark needs others to … More What the narcissist is really saying and what you can do about it.

Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

(If you received 2 blog posts from me in your email today and the first link isn’t working, it’s because it was replaced with this one… sorry about any confusion!) A close friend of mine has a hubby who designs spaces like a bad-ass mofo.¬†He says that of the 6 key design elements (scale, size, … More Rage and Anger, Perspective and Scale. A Design Technique that can Help You Heal from the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

In Part I of the Healing from Narcissistic Abuse series, I talked about the “Invisibility cloak” and the looks of “contempt and disdain” that the narky-nark flings at his or her target to keep them “in their place” and to keep the narky-nark feeling superior. Now, I’d like to name what happens inside the person … More In the aftermath of an episode – Healing from narcissistic abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Part 1 of this post is here. WANT TO END PROCRASTINATION FOREVER ??? Procrastination doesn’t feel hazardous, which is why so many people let themselves get away with it. It’s like a deadly non-scented toxic fume. If you’re procrastinating on the activities that would generate the most joy (for yourself and those you love)… you’re … More Toxic Fumes (part 2 of 2) – You are the Treasure – Ending Procrastination – Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

After reading Christine Canonville’s book Shame Begets Shame, my eyes are now wide open to the harm of co-dependency literature for people who are healing from narcissistic abuse (which could have happened through parents, a sibling, or even bullying at school). The co-dependency literature isn’t just outdated, it’s misplaced and dangerous, like being given the … More Toxic Fumes (part 1 of 2) Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – core shame, co-dependence, co-narcissist

2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)

Healing from ¬†narcissistic abuse can be like walking through a rocky terrain in a dense fog. You may have a sense about where you’re going but it’s slow-going and it’s so darn easy to make mistakes along the way. Finding a sherpa is tricky because this is a leading-edge topic and most therapists don’t have … More 2 key resources for successfully healing from narcissistic abuse (present or past)

Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Compassion. Love. Deep and true belief in someone. When your longstanding resilience becomes your achilles heel, when your altruism is unappreciated yet compulsively given, when you are chronically invalidated and devalued… How long does it take before you feel the pain? Better yet, how long does it take before you cut the ties? If you … More Rejection! The hardest part of leaving a narcissist you love – is probably not what you think it is.

Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)

The “invisible” quality of narcissism is at the heart of its ability maintain its insidious and toxic abuse. Narcissists LOOVE being able to fool the rest of the world while harming their victims in secret. If you have suffered at the hands of people who YOU LOVE, I want you to know that you are … More Validating YOU – no longer willing to play the invisibility game – coming out now (healing from Narcissistic abuse Part V)