The more I meditate on this word, the more I appreciate it, the more it grows in my awareness.
A couple of months after Hiro died (at the end of June), sadness would visit every now and again. This was natural and I expected it and accepted it. And I was also curious about it.
Hiro had a good and complete life. He came home with me at 8 weeks old. He was loved and cared for from beginning to end. And his ending was a good, kind, loving ending. Not traumatic. In fact it was so beautiful that even the vet cried along with us and he thanked us for being so caring (me and my friends who supported me and Hiro in the final hours).
I asked myself what was it that was missing that was making me feel sad? His presence? Yes, but I was glad he wasn’t in pain anymore. His protection? Yes, but I never intended for him to be a guard dog (though he certainly was!). His annoying quirks? Certainly! But not enough to make me cry.
And then it dawned on me… Hiro was my devotion. I gave of myself fully and completely to him. With no hold back whatsoever. With no expectation of something in return. Just. Pure. Love. Streaming from me to him and back from him to me.
But it wasn’t his devotion to me that I missed so much (though I absolutely treasured that).
It was my devotion to him.
A lot of energy. Flowing in one direction. Generated from within.
He was my focal point.
And then the sadness paused. And it left. It still visits me now and then, like when I watched A Dog’s Purpose. Boy did I bawl!
But I realized that I could generate that devotion and offer it in any direction I choose. It can be toward an object, an ideal, or even a word.
I feel devotion to the Process of Life unfolding and emerging through me and through those I care for. It’s like witnessing a new birth every day. A constant steady rhythm of joy unfolding.
I am grateful. I am grateful to Hiro for teaching me devotion and I’m grateful to myself for being open and willing to learn.
Life’s unfolding is magical. It’s a worthy devotion.
And it’s happening. Right. Now.
And Hiro too!
Ps. A squirrel is sitting on a tree above me to my left and he hasn’t stopped squeaking-squawking for the last 5 minutes. I wonder what he’s saying?
One thought on “Devotion.”
Hiro-Head/Life Itself: Big Love*. Big Devotion*. Big Gift*.
(*: Beyond-… well, just beyond. Period.)
I know (way!) the ring of truth in your words & sentiments, Debbie.
Thanks for sharing them.
God bless Big Boy… Always… With Love…