I’m tired of seeing people wound themselves and each other. Honestly. Just tired.
The friend who is 30 lbs lighter than me telling me she’s so fat. Really? Then what am I, a cow? I actually like my body. She just brought the language of body-shame into our space.
The client who hesitates to let her radiance shine, because, she wonders aloud, who will want to be around her? Great question. I hate that she feels that way. But at least she’s being real.
Someone who yells at a friend on a text but then doesn’t respond to her (calm) reply. WTF, really?
When I witness these things, it pisses me off.
Where is our CONNECTION with our true selves, with the beauty in others, with the source of LOVE BEAUTY AND BRILLIANCE that created us all?
Is it gone? No, I don’t think so.
But it seems to be a delicacy these days. A gourmet item. A rare gem.
In order experience lasting CONNECTION, the validation of others really helps. Giving and receiving validation for showing up authentically (messiness and all), AS WELL AS for being radiant and beautiful and brilliant and generous. Choosing relationships with those who are prepared to give and receive such a gift.
I consider myself REALLY REALLY LUCKY. There are many (easily 30) gorgeous, generous, kind people in my life who offer CONNECTION VIA EMPOWERMENT by being conscious of their thoughts, words and actions. People who genuinely care about the quality of love they bring to their relationships: with themselves, with others and with the Higher Power of their choice.
Being in these relationships is WONDERFUL. They’re a safe haven and a signal to keep going. None of us are perfect. But we relate to each other inside of agreements that state that we will show up with honor for ourselves and each other. This makes much our time together EASIER, MORE EFFORTLESS and MORE INSPIRING.
The gift of having these relationships is so great that everyone should be able to have access to them. Structures for Joy-Based Living groups are being created so that YOU can have that experience too.
Receiving HONOR, COMMITMENT and LOYALTY from fellow human beings takes courage. Because it’s humans who have SHAMED, ABANDONED and BETRAYED each other. If you watch the news or you’re on the internet on any social media site… the violence we see in the world speaks for itself. The violence starts in our personal relationships. It starts with ourselves.
People who don’t resonate with shame would NEVER consider electing a leader who shames them.
It’s so easy to isolate. It’s so very easy to say ADIOS AMIGOS, I’m OUTA HERE. I’m checking out (mentally, emotionally, physically).
And yet, without relatedness, we miss out on deep connection. We miss out on JOY.
You don’t have to settle for love that comes with a price tag just because that’s how it’s been done for millennia and that’s what we see on TV and in the movies. That’s bullshit. That’s not real love. AND YOU KNOW IT.
Real love is strong, tender and kind. In your heart, you know this.
Real love recognizes, validates and celebrates your radiance.
Real love doesn’t come with strings.
If you’re tangled up, just know that you have the power to untangle those strings.
Your time is NOW.
Give yourself this gift:
Hang around people who,
when they see your brilliance or radiance,
glow right back at you…
thereby strengthening your light.
Those wonderful people
are your tribe.
Let your light shine bright and you will find out
just who your real tribe is.
Because they will be the ones cheering you on
and asking for MORE MORE MORE of YOU!
They are the people
Debbie Happy Cohen
Imagine what the world would be like if everyone was connected to a circle of people who could speak languages of WELL-BEING. That’s what we’re doing here at Joy-Based Living.
Join our tribe at the Joy-Based Living Beginner’s Guide today!