Brene Brown is researcher and storyteller who’s kicked open the door to a worldwide conversation on shame-awareness, vulnerability and wholeheartedness.
Simon Sinek is a highly valued consultant to corporate and military leaders worldwide, encouraging millions of people to name their WHY and bring purpose to their daily lives.
Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love, continues to be a great example of creativity and excellence, courage and compassion. She follows her inner guidance, her North star, no matter where it leads her.
These pioneering empaths are leading the way in their top-viewed TED talks with millions of views also on Youtube.
This gives me great hope!
I think we’d pretty much all agree that the world needs more empathy. But most people aren’t quite sure how to go about creating such a world. The world doesn’t seem designed to meet the needs of empaths. Most empaths I’ve met (A LOT) don’t seem to feel valued enough or confident enough to hold their own on the world stage. Their gifts and talents frequently remain latent. They touch people in their own ways. But their true contribution goes unfulfilled.
I see this all too frequently. It makes me feel sad and angry. I make it a point to transmute these negative feelings and channel my energy into positive action which serves a greater purpose.
I’ve been coaching a few amazing empaths over the last 15 months… and HOLY KAZOO! Each one started in a place of “blocked,” feeling stuck inside of a sense of really wanting their unique gifts to have more IMPACT in the world. They wanted to make a difference, to contribute, in a much bigger way. They could feel this desire growing inside of them to the point where it actually felt uncomfortable.
I would come along and find it completely unacceptable to see their true potential WANTING SO BADLY to come out but then getting lost, sabotaged or trampled in low-end conversations and projects, in lack of vision, and in toxic relationships.
With each of these beautiful people, I envisioned more for them and expected more from them. They each rose to meet my positive vision for them the way a sunflower turns toward sunshine. For me, it is a complete priviledge and honor to hold such a sacred vision for another human being, and give them the opportunity to live into it.
I believe we all have the capacity to beam sunshine onto the paths of others and even to lift them so their journey feels lighter and it’s up to each of us to value it and use it!
As I began interviewing, keenly observing and simply having fun with each one of my clients, I began to discover their unique brilliance(s). Their quirks. Their limitations. Their deepest desires. Their most painful relationships. Where they tend to trip themselves up. Their patterns. And the clearest path from where they are to where they want to be.
Each one, over the course of a year, is now emerging in the world in ways that they never dreamed possible.
Here’s the thing you need to know if you want to bring out the best in an empath:
Empaths don’t generally do well with “behavioral training” (punishment/reward systems). But they DO show up with absolute genius when someone SEES them, GETS them, EXPECTS AMAZING THINGS from them, and SETS STANDARDS for them that they can live into. This ENLIVENS their spirits and they find themselves reaching milestones that outperformed any goal they may have set for themselves.
It’s imperative they learn to navigate toxic people effectively because toxic people are drawn empaths like a moth to a flame.
However. Most literature on being an empath over-advises the need to set healthy boundaries and protect their energy. For me, the onslaught of such suggestions makes me think of a basketball coach ONLY teaching their team DEFENSE. Or imagining the students at Hogwarts ONLY taking Dark Arts classes.
The info is definitely important. But it’s nowhere near sufficient.
What needs to be mined is the BRILLIANCE, and like I said, GENIUS, in empaths.
What our world needs so much today are the gifts that empaths bring to the table:
Wise leaders who know how to bring out the best in the empaths in their organizations will set them free to serve at their best. This will improve performance which, by the way, also benefits the bottom line.
Smart schools which value empathy will raise students who value connection, creativity and joy. Test scores will rise. Not due to behavioral modification. But simply as a natural outcome.
Why?
Because empathy influences the atmosphere. The tension in a room. The flow in a conversation. The receptivity of a person’s mind.
People’s needs are met because empaths clearly see those needs and address them.
Within an atmosphere that values empathy, the best possibilities become available for everyone.
The most important transformation for empaths in our world today is for empaths to take their power into their own hands by doing the daily work of upgrading their inner atmospheres.
When an empath truly feels brilliant, valued, empowered, beautiful and strong, that’s when all bets are off.
As the truth of who they really are rises to the surface . . . they begin to take bigger, bolder and smarter risks. And then – with increasingly ample evidence under their belts that their contributions are valued, their confidence deepens and they become unstoppable.
That’s when they achieve more than they ever dreamed possible.
I wish this for our world.
And I wish this for you.
Much love,
Happy D!
ps. HA! As soon as I posted this article, I opened Liz Gilbert’s Facebook page… to a section I’d never seen before… and serendipitously landed on this post she shared… from one of my favorite poets:
