Stop Damming It. Tears can magically transmute trauma. 11 reasons we hold them back. (Codependency, CPTSD, CPTSR)

The more I learn about tears (especially those of compassion for others and/ or self-compassion), the more magical they feel to me. But when I stop and think about it, it’s actually quite logical. We are feeling-beings. And when feelings get stuck, we humans tend to either explode or atrophy – simply because the feelings have to go somewhere. However, when we let our feelings take their natural course, they flow as easily as water gliding downhill. If that’s the case, then all we are doing is coming back to our true nature. Maybe tears feel magical because we have let ourselves get so distant from home.

Here is a list of 11 reasons we hold back tears and how to get unstuck.

I think when it comes to tears, children are our greatest teachers. When they experience upset, or loss, or when they are hurt, unless we interfere, they will generally cry and/or let off angry steam, “I hate you!” Then 10 minutes later they’re ready to play again. Let’s learn from them how to get unstuck. Let’s come back home to ourselves. I believe that when we do, we will learn to fly once again.

Our spirits are meant to soar. Right here. On earth. Right now.

Much love,

Happy D!

ps. The Joy-Based Living E-book offers a foundation of 12 lifelong practices that can help you get in touch with your feelings, make a deeper commitment to yourself, and step up into becoming who you really are. It’s a great supplement any holistic practice, including therapy and coaching.

For more info about CPTSD/ CPTSR/ Post Traumatic Stress, just enter any of those terms in the search bar (in the website footer) here at

What stops us from shedding tears
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2 thoughts on “Stop Damming It. Tears can magically transmute trauma. 11 reasons we hold them back. (Codependency, CPTSD, CPTSR)

  1. I think you innocently came up with a great mantra for unstuck-ing tears, Debbie: “Right here. Right now.” (Repeat gently, with TLC & compassion.) 🙂

    P.S.: I wonder, in your eyes if any of the 11 reasons (for holding back tears) you listed covers: “not wanting to be judged by others”… Your thoughts?

    1. Right here, right now. Definitely works!! I’ll plan on doing a video about that topic :-). Yes to not wanting to be judged… “alienation” (and the words under that) and “invalidation” would cover that idear… but I like that you named it. It helps to see it in those words as well. Thanks, wordsmith genie :-).

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