How to honor your spirituality as you heal and as you grow – the light in your eyes matters.

joy based living spirituality psychology coaching with short descriptions

Quick note: I’ll address trauma and how it relates to this topic at the end of this post. #CPTSR #CPTSD #codependency

I’ve seen a growing trend where really popular motivational interviewers are combining SCIENCE with psychology and coaching. But they’re completely skipping the conversation about the immeasurable, mysterious topic of spirituality.

I call BS.

I think they’re missing the boat. I think as a culture, we are being remiss when we don’t put our magic and awe and the light in our eyes FIRST.

When working with someone, the light in their eyes is MY SIGNAL that they are right on track. I think of Secretariat (yes, the horse) who LOVED to run. I think of people I admire, like Sandra Bullock, Marianne Williamson, Trevor Noah. Who love life and who love bringing their gifts to the world with full force.

These people ALL have lights in their eyes. That LIGHT (which you can feel on the inside) is your GO signal. It’s a sign that you are 100% right on track.

Too many people aim WAY LOWER than that.

Most people aim for being good and doing “what’s expected” of them.

Don’t get me wrong. Your daily to-do list is important. But it is not sufficient.

If your to-dos are not being guided by YOUR LIGHT, YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR JOY – your precious list is guaranteed to get you into a rut. An empty-hearted to-do list will DRIVE YOU INTO THE GROUND. And you’ll wonder what the freak just happened. Why you’re spinning. Or sluggish. Or stuck. Why you’re exhausted.

The energy we are born with comes from spirit. 

Spirit is who WE ARE.

It’s up to us to stay aligned with it and to stop ignoring it, invalidating it, abandoning it or betraying it. It’s time for us to HONOR it. We don’t need church to do this. We can do it on our own, each of us in our own ways.

As a life and business coach, I trust the light in a person’s eyes to guide me to what they REALLY TRULY feel, want and need. When their light dims, it’s a sign we’re heading in the wrong direction. When the light in a person’s eyes awakens or reveals itself – it’s a sign they’re right on track.

A light in the eyes is necessary to access moments of truth. Those moments of truth can lead to grieving, release and inner freedom. Those moments of truth will free up your intuition, your energy and your inner genius.

A light in a person’s eyes doesn’t mean that they don’t cry or feel frustrated in the process of their growth and development. In fact, the quickening might flood them with so much energy that they don’t know what to do with themselves at first.

Suggestion: Tune into it. Respect it. Honor it. Acclimate. STOP SETTLING. Step up. Enjoy the thrill of energy that lives in you, that expresses itself as you.

I’ve never seen someone I truly admired who DIDN’T have a light in their eyes. And, I want more of us talking about it. I want our INHERENT DIVINITY to lead our lives. We need science, ABSOLUTELY. But science can’t EVER take the place of our divine gorgeous beautiful magical nature. Science should be in service to our SPIRITS. Not the other way around. 

I believe we humans are divine by nature. We are much more beautiful and powerful and amazing than we let ourselves believe. And I think it’s time we start telling ourselves the truth about who we really are – much more often.

Let the light in your eyes be the guiding light of your life.

You are so worth it.

Much love,

Debbie Happy Cohen

aka Happy D! and Reverend SASSY SHORTS!

I want you to LOVE negotiating for JOY! | Author | Coach at Joy-Based Living

ps. If you’re dealing with emotional trauma, CPTSR, CPTSD or severe codependency, please check out Pete Walker’s book Complex PTSD. In it, he discusses spiritual neglect and spiritual abuse. I’m really glad he brings this up in the context of healing emotional trauma. You deserve to feel amazing. Being in touch with who you are as a Spiritual Being is an important part of trusting life so you can relax, feel supported, and feel in touch with the great mystery. which connects us all. You are part of it. Brené Brown and Gabor Maté are also two great teachers who honor spirituality as part of healing and growing into our best selves. They’re all over youtube so be sure to check them out.

ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll like this one, too: Healers and coaches, raise your standards! A new spirituality.


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